Out of control driver
In the last blog, we talked about feedback and how to support people with a be perfect or please others driver. But what if the person who needs help is you? Here are a few ideas for calming those compulsions that we can all feel when we are stressed and out of sorts.
Since there are five well-accepted drivers that can get the better of us, we discuss the other three as well. Grab a cup of tea, take a moment and reflect.
|
The driver and its triggers |
What we say to ourselves |
What we can do |
|
Be perfect Own and others’ perceived carelessness, mistakes; loss of control, certainty or structure; ambiguity and change |
Everything must be exactly right first time, every time |
|
|
Please people Being ignored, criticised or blamed |
I have to please others (often without asking or being asked) |
|
|
Try hard Fear of failure; being criticised for not caring or trying hard enough |
It’s the effort that counts |
|
|
Be strong Feeling vulnerable or forced to talk about feelings |
Showing any form of weakness means I’m not OK |
|
|
Hurry up Slow processes, perceived inefficiency, being time-starved, queues |
Everything must be done as quickly as possible |
|
The dangerous thing about hurry up is that it doesn’t just exist on its own. It can combine with any of the other four. Imagine hurry up and be perfect! How stressful is that?
Want to know more?
Self-awareness goes a long way here but maybe some coaching could help? In the meantime, have a look at the great material that we have collected and put on sane.works or browse our flagship book – Staying Sane in Business.
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